


Why Are We Here?

by Haru_213



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:28:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haru_213/pseuds/Haru_213
Summary: In my universe, Eren Jaeger is a 19 year old college student in California who hasn’t met any of the AOT/SNK characters. He suddenly is traveled back in time to the AOT universe, and somehow knows who they are, but they don’t have a clue who he is. Some things have changed and he must figure out how to deal with all this, on top of controlling Captain Levi Ackerman.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Why is This Man so Small?

**Author's Note:**

> -Narrated by Eren  
> -Italicized = Eren’s thoughts  
> -(Parentheses) = Other characters thoughts

_Damn my head is spinning_ , *sigh…* I open my eyes to find an old fashioned looking court room filled with people who look like they were cosplaying an old battle movie. I thought it kind of looked like a movie set. “What a wacked up dream”

Immediately the soldiers surrounded me and started speaking in some language I was NOT aware of.  
“woah woah chill! Get off me.” I say trying to brush off the grabbing hands. Slowly I found it odd, but I could start to understand their language. _When did I learn this?_

“who are you? And what village did you come from?” Says female officer with her hair slicked back into a ponytail and glasses.

“pfft, village?” I grin “what is this Minecraft?” the guard behind me shoved me to the floor and out of no where a foot is slammed into my face. “Ack… since when did dreams hurt so much?”

“I’m not a dream, but I can definitely become your worst nightmare. Now answer her questions.” Answers a short but terrifying Officer.

 _This must have been the guy who busted my face._ “Listen Levi I don’t-“ _wait how did I?-_

“How did you know my name? Do I know you? Start talking twit.” He says.

I spit the blood that had seeped into my mouth “ listen I don’t know what your deal is but none of this is gonna matter so just go fight some real threats like fixing the wall that- “ *I stop abruptly, shocked at my own words* “what wall?” I murmur

Levi gets impatient “f*ck it, that’s it”

“Captain Levi, no-!” Says a blond haired, timid looking boy, he couldn’t be much younger then me.

But before I could open my mouth, I received a quick punch that ended my dream…


	2. Who is that?

*Gasp!* I awaken sitting up abruptly. I reach to rub my soar jaw, but my wrists are both locked in medal clasps. “for real?” I look around as I’m not in my own bed and the damp brick walls that are surrounding me are also forign to me. 

“Are you going to comply now?”says a tall blond man with a deep voice. “I’m Erwin, and this is my squad.” He says gesturing to the other people. 

I look up to see a group of the same uniformed people. “Are you joking? What’s going on? If this is a prank, it’s not funny.” 

“tch… just send Levi in again, that’ll make him pee his pants a little.” Snourts a thin hot headed soldier

“horse face doesn’t look the brightest” I mutter under my breath. 

“hah! Even this guy sees it!” Says a short haired soldier. He grabs his stomach 

“Guys, come on.” Says a black haired female soldier. She grabs her red scarf 🧣 looking at me. 

“I apologize for my comrades.” She walks closer to my cell “It must be confusing to be surrounded my superiors that you probably only heard about from stories. I’m Mikasa Ackerman“

“I know, but I don’t know why you’re acting this way, there’s things I know but I don’t know why I know them. But for one, why am I being retained?”

“what is it that you know, you’ll need to tell us clearly.” She says calmly.

I look down and shut my eyes tight “I am confused but I have knowledge that I hadn’t formerly known, it’s like I have someone else’s memories.” I look up “ for instance I know who you are and your situation, but I don’t know how I got here, do you have a phone I could borrow?”    
  


“a what?” Says the lady with glasses

As I scan the people, I see confused faces, “you don’t know what a phone is? How about a computer at least, I could email…  _ “ Nope, that’s also a no _

“my patience is running low kid. If you don’t belong to any village then where did you come from? Do you remember how you got here? You popped in out of nowhere.” A voice says in the corner. It was Captain Levi. 

I try to remember “ no, sorry.” 

“I know your shaken, so I’ll be coming back to ask some questions, so rest for a bit. The names Hange Zoe” She says turning to leave, the rest following her

“wait! You're leaving me here?! Why am I in chains?!” I yell after the depleting shadows

“isn’t it obvious? You freak, look at yourself.” Jean says looking at me in discussed 

I look to my right where a puddle of water had collected. My eyes widen,  _ who is that?  _ In the reflection I see myself, but my neck is lined with glowing ice blue tattoos and one of my eyes had turned the same icy blue hue. “What’s happening?” My voice shakes.


	3. Close Enough?

Some hours pass before I hear the scuffle of boots approach my cell door. It opens and someone walks in, the other person staying outside. I look up wearily. “Oh someone is brave enough to confront me?” I say looking face to face with Hange. 

“what’s this you say, you’re obviously being sarcastic?” She says pulling up a chair “ tell us about yourself, you seem to know a lot about us.”

I sigh and try to sit up, but the cuffs restrain my movements. 

“let me- “ she says opening my cuffs

Levi leans on the bars from outside “oi, don’t be reckless”

She smiles at me ignoring the captain “that should be better.”

I rub my soar wrists “thank you, uh… where to start.” I look down awkwardly “my, my name is Eren Jeager, and I’m 19 years old. I attend xx college, and I’m a resident of California. My major is-“ I look up to two confused faces. “What? You really don't know what I’m talking about, do you?” 

Levi speaks up, “no… I’m a pretty good judge of character and it seems that you're not lying either. But it still doesn’t explain who or what you are, or why you’re here.” He shifts his weight to the other side. 

“we have time, so explain to us your thoughts.” She says sitting back in her chair.

I explained to them that I had come from a more advanced world but I didn’t know how I had gotten here. I talked about the gap in my knowledge of why I knew who they were and things about them. “I’m just as clueless as to why this is happening. And the marks on my neck and my eye weren't like this before.” I pause, “I may not know why I’m here, but maybe I can help you, or even teach you things.” 

Hange’s eyes glint with curiosity as she pushes her glasses back _.  _

“it’s late, you need to get out of there, discuss it tomorrow.” Levi says opening the door. 

“you afraid I’ll eat you, is that why the  _ fearless _ Levi is staying outside the door?” I say glaring at him. 

With an equally dagger gazing stare, he 

walks over to the cell wall, “Hange, leave.” 

She obeys getting up slowly “sleep well, I’ll talk again in the morning.” She walks out handing the key to Levi. 

He walks in, coming as far as the chair in front of my bed, he turns it around and sits straddling the back of it. 

I squint, raising my hand to the back on my neck to scratch it.

When I see him reach for the handle of his blade I retract my arm and lean my chin on the back of my hand with my elbow resting on my knee. “You really are afraid of me. Huh?” 

He moves his hand back to the top of the chair and tilts his head 

“heh” I continue “you’re afraid of anything that you can’t control right?” I tremble with anger “killing titans is easy for you! But you can’t even step towards the human 2 feet in front of you?!” I’m not sure why I was so worked up but I was tired of being treated like sh*t. I was just as confused as them. 

He gets up and throws the chair aside, my back chills. “Listen brat, maybe if you’d stop acting cocky, we’d get along better.”

“huh??!” I gape at him questioningly 

He walks to the side of my bed and grabs my coller, raising me up half an inch “This close enough?” He tightens his grip “we don’t need your knowledge, just butt out and stop acting arrogant.” 

“That’s good coming from you captain.” I cough. I grab his wrists and shut my eyes “I get it, I get it, let go.” 

He drops my coller and grabs my hand 

I look at him with a questioned expression.  _ Stop blushing Eren _

He returns the cuffs to my wrists locking them up. He walks to the door, locking it as well. 

_ why is he so afraid to learn?  _


	4. I’m Just Ticklish

The Next day;

I woke up to clanking sounds from with in the cell next to mine. The cells were made of smooth brick on three of the four sides, and bars on the fourth. Because of this I couldn’t see what was happening next to me. I look down and notice that the cuffs were gone from both my wrists and my ankles. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and go to stand. “ack!” I wobble and my legs give out beneath me.  _ I’m so weak  _

“That’s probably because you’ve refused to eat these past three days.” Says Mikasa opening my cell door. “I’ll help you to move.” She reaches for my arm and places it across her shoulder. 

“Wait- where are we going?” I asked as she pulls me up. 

“Hange wants to try some tests with you.” She answers not looking me in the eyes.

my face goes pale as my imagination runs to far. “Does it hurt” I sputter

“Hah, only if you’re week.” Jean laughers from outside the cell.

When we round the corner, I see a dozen or so soldiers armed with weapons.  _ What do they think I can do? I’m so weak right now and I really just need to pee.  _

“Ahhh you’re here!” Hange Zoe says with a gleam in her eyes. I couldn’t tell if I should be scared or happy about this. 

When Mikasa sets me down on the chair, I look around and see out of date lab materials. “What is it you plan to do with me?” I laugh half heartedly. 

“Just some tests to try and find out more about you.” Hange says looking up sternly, making all the soldiers leave except for Captain Levi, who still has his blade drawn. 

I roll my eyes and look towards Hange. “well I guess I can comply.” 

“You don’t have a choice twit,” Levi retourts. “Just relax and listen.”

“Honestly you should be relaxing  _ Captain _ Levi.” I snarl. 

Hange grabs my hand abruptly, running her fingers up the back of my arm. “Ah!” I clasp my hand over my mouth. “Sorry it just tickled.” 

“No my apologies. I’m checking to see if the marks on your neck run down anywhere else.” She says lifting my sleeve 

“I’m not sure. I haven’t had these marks until I came here.” I look down. “It freaks me out.” I rub my neck over the blue marks. “But I want to find out.” I say determined. 

Hange smiles “Great! Levi grab his shirt.”

“Hah?”

“Hah?” 

We both look questionably at Hange. “I want Levi to check your back while I check your legs.” She says rolling up my pant legs 

“O-oh, okay.” My voice quivers. I lift the back of my shirt while Levi walked over. He runs his hand up my back, moving along the curves. I shiver a little, the hair on my neck standing. I drop my shirt and straighten my back. “Hange-san, I don’t think there are any other places where the marks are. Should we examine the ones on my neck.” I say looking down at her. 

“Sounds good. Can you lie back on this table?” She asks taking my shoulders and pushing me down. 

I look up at Levi and our eyes meet. “The hell you looking at twit?” He says flicking my forehead. 

“No, I was just shocked that the brave captain could touch a monster such as myself.” I say sarcastically looking away. I look over to Hange who is making a weird face at us 

“What?” I ask. 

She puts her hand on my chest and scowls. Then she grabs Levi’s hand and puts it on my chest. 

“Stop blushing Jaeger.” He snaps, pulling his hand away. “What is it Hange?” 

She puts her hand up to her mouth, “I’m not sure but… when you touch him, the marks seem to heat up. But nothing of that sort happens when I do.” 

“Meaning?” Levi asks 

“Do it again. And look” she says pushing his hand back into me. 

Slowly the marks start to heat up and begin to glow. “Ouch.” I strain threw my teeth. “That’s hot” I pull away. 

“It’s odd.” She says “Eren could we do it again and you bare a little longer? I want to see wat happens” she asks pleadingly

I nod sitting up. “Go ahead” Levi reaches his arm out again placing it on my chest. And again the heat starts to sink in. I bite my finger to bare it. Suddenly the marks glow brightly and spread to my chest.

“Stop!” Says Hange, pulling Levi away. I lie back gasping for air. “Are you alright?” She asks. I nod again, looking at my chest where the strange marks had spread. 

“Are you alright captain?” I ask as I watch Levi rubbing his hand. 

“It was hot, but I’m fine.” He says brushing my head aside as he walks past me. “Hange, we need to talk, now.” He says waking out. “Eren, go down this hall to the left and you’ll find a shower, things you’ll need are there.” 


	5. Why Do They Waver, My Thoughts?

When I get out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and reach for my clothes.  _ Huh, where did they go?  _ I fumble around the bathing room looking for them.

“I had a scout take them to be cleaned. Use these instead.” Levi says as he stands in the entrance watching me. He then hands over a scout uniform.

“This, is it ok for me to wear this?” I ask surprised. He simply nods and turns around.

“After you’re done, come with me, we’re giving you an actual room and we begin training tomorrow, that is if you're able to.” He looks at me daringly 

“Yes!” I say “For what, exactly?” I ask scratching the back of my head

He looks at me squinting his eyes in shame, “I’m gonna get your butt in shape so you don’t go and die!” 

“Ah yes, right.” I slide my arms into the sleeves of the white button down shirt. As my fingers fumble with the buttons I look up to see Levi waiting for me. I try to hurry, but I can’t seem to figure out the straps. “Uh, how does this work?” I ask sheepishly, holding up the straps, dangling clumsily between my fingers. 

He takes long strides to where I am, that is... their long strides for his height. “Give me those.” He takes the straps from my hands and wraps them around my waist pulling me closer. He bends down and reaches in between my thighs to grab the leather from the other side. Pulling tighter, he buckled them around my upper leg. I hold my breath, hoping he won’t hear the sound of my heart as it beats out of my chest. I swallow hard, my throat clenching in on itself. 

“Did you pay attention? Jeager?” He snaps his fingers in front of my face. I blink looking into his grey eyes, his hard gaze resonating in my body. 

“Sir?!” I straighten up, embarrassed by my thoughts. 

He leans closer, placing his hand over my eyes, what is it about his hands that made this comfortable? His strong but graceful touch, his cool pale skin, it was beautiful. I felt my cheeks start to flush, and I grab his hand to reluctantly pull it away, replacing it with my towel. “Sorry my hair got your vest wet and I still need to finish changing.” My voice quivers. 

He looks at me, waiting for me to loosen my hold on his wrist. “I can’t leave unless you let my hand go.” He says letting his hand dangle from my grip, tilting his head to one side. 

I let go, taking a swift step back. I rub my hair with the ruffled towel and watch him walk away through the fringes of hair. What is it about him that intrances me? 

I walk out to find him waiting for me. He cocks his head up and gestures for me to follow him. As we walk, I notice the sound of his clicking heels against the stone underneath. The way it resonates through the dimly lit halls accompanied by the way our shadows danced along the walls sent a shiver down my back. 

“Cold?” He asks, breaking the silence and turning his head up towards me. 

I shake my head looking forward. I slowed my pace to match his. For a man of his stature, it surprised me how long his strides were. His shoulders were rather slim as well, with a jawline that fit his personality to a t.  _ All the girls at school would fall all over him.  _ I thought looking at his eyes, the smooth color was-

“... Eyes.” I just barely heard him say. I zone in to my surroundings and clearly look at him, tilting my head down. “Sorry?”

“Your eyes.” He stated “They aren’t the same color, you don’t know why?” He says sternly.

“No sir, I don’t remember nor do I know why they changed.” I say fixing my sleeve.

“The teal one is the original?” He asks, the tone sounding almost sincere. “Even if they're odd…” he pauses “they aren’t hideous.” He says quietly, picking up his pace.

I smile to myself.  _ That must have been his attempt at complimenting me.  _ I chuckle and quickly catch up to him.

***

When we arrive, I look around to find a small but comfortable room made of stone walls. The bed on the right was a bunk bed and a small window that let in a quiet breeze. “Do I have a roommate?” I ask looking around. 

“No one seemed to need to switch bunks, so no. Sorry.” He said, fixing his scarf.

I forgot how inhuman I must seem to these people. What? I pop out of nowhere and expect them to accept me? Even I understand that. Look at him, he’s probably doing this because he has too.  _ I shouldn’t keep him here, it’s already awkward enough, he must hate me _ . 

“Why are you sorry, you haven’t done anything wrong?” I turn around smiling at him “I can absolutely understand.” I turn back to the window.  _ Sh*t, why am I crying?  _ I bite my lip as it quivers. 

“Get some rest Eren.” He turns towards the door, and pauses. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” He closes the door behind him. 

  
I cover my mouth, looking at the devilish reflection of myself in the window. That was the first time I had heard my name leave his mouth. My shoulders quake, the tears in my eyes fall, and the sound of the cold breeze drowns out my lonely sobs. _ What’s going on? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel as though my writing style has already improved a little with this chapter alone! Thank you for reading so far 🙏🏼


	6. Crimson On My Sleeve

I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. No, it must have been early morning, it was still dark. I get up and walk over to the wash station by the window, bending down to splash my face. I lean on the wash table and let my head dangle. I listened, but noticed everything had stopped around me. The sound of the birds, the breeze, the ticking sound of the watch on my wrist. The only thing I heard was the sound of heavy breathing. I stretch my hand across my chest, Is that me? I slowly turn my gaze to the window, and find a face with a twisted lifeless smile staring back at me. For a moment every part of my body turns cold, then as the being lurches forward and opens its mouth, the entire wall that separated us disappears. _It’s a titan, it’s a titan, inside the wall, staring at me._ It wraps its enormous fingers around me and lifts me effortlessly into the air on its way to his mouth. _Is this it? Is this how I’ll stop inconveniencing the people around me?_ I bite my lip and glare at the creature. “I’ll kill you!! F*ck off bastard!” I scream, it laying me in his mouth. I feel the roof of his mouth closing above me and I thrash my body to try and hurt it in any way I could possibly muster. “Ahhh!”

“Oi!” I feel something touch me, and I return the figure with a punch to the face. 

“Augh! Damn it” Levi says grabbing his nose. I sit up, panting frantically. 

“Levi!” I reach a shaking hand towards him.

“I’m fine.” he says sitting up, blood dripping from his nose. 

“Sh*t, I’m sorry.” I say putting my sleeve to block the stream of crimson liquid. “Just let me stay like this, till it stops.” 

He nods and sits facing me, a foot away. “What were you dreaming about?” He asks, staring at me. “You were crying.”

_Well that’s embarrassing_. “I don’t remember.” I lie. I look down wiping my eyes with my other sleeve. 

He takes my hand and presses it to his nose harder, looking at me with a tilted head and questioning expression. I feel my heart climb to my throat. “What?” 

“You’re lying Eren.” He takes my hand off his nose and licks it, taking away the blood that had been left on my thumb. My face turns a light hue of red all the way up to my ears. He smirks letting go of my hand, “Sorry about your sleeve, I’ll get you a new shirt in the morning.” He says casually, climbing to the top bunk. 

“Y-your sleeping here?” I stammer, looking up at him over the side of the wooden bed frame. 

“I can’t?” He asks raising a brow

“No, you’re fine.” I say slowly, “good night, sir.” Though I said this, I can say I did not sleep much. I layed there covering my face that had turned bright red. 

“You don’t need to worry, we’ll protect you from the Titans.” He says quietly.

“Thank you.” I respond, turning over to my side. _I can’t be a burden to these people._ I shut my eyes and it felt as though barely a minute later it was morning. 

_Alright, time to get stronger._


	7. It’s All So Loud

After a few days, I was getting the hang of the 3D maneuver thing, and thanks to Mikasa I have found a steady way to build up more muscle to help with blade practice too. Why they use such eccentric weapons, I'll never know. I also have begun to try and write down everything I know about my world, because I hope that it will one day help them. 

“Pay attention Jaeger!” Says Jean, with a swing of his blade that nicks my ear. 

“Tch, you did that on purpose, horse face.” I snarl, countering his move with a swift kick to the back of his knee, making him fall hard on his back. 

“How the f*ck do you know martial arts so well?” He curses at me, rubbing the back of his head. 

Smirking, “You just don’t know it very well.” I laugh. However I think for a minute, and I don’t know where I learned to fight. 

“Alright alright, brats, stand up.” Says Captain Levi, walking up to us. “It’s time to clean.” A collective sigh rings out from all the scouts. “Oi, what was that?” He says glaring at us.

“Yes sir!” We shout. 

We had been split up into groups and of course no one paired with me. I head to the third floor hallway.  _ It doesn’t bother me.  _ I roll my eyes and open the window, beginning to clean the edges. 

“Eren!” Says the familiar voice. “That’s not how you do it.” Levi says snatching the rag away. He leans out the window and wipes the outer edge. “You can go to the first floor windows below.” He says shoeing me away.

When I get there, I begin to lose myself in thought. _Damn what’s with these marks? They keep spreading, should I tell Hange-san? Maybe Levi?_ I rub my head aimlessly. After dusting the wood off, I reach for my broom, scratching my hand on a splinter that stood up, sh*t. From above I hear the sound of a board snap. My head shoots up and I see Captain Levi dangling from the outside of the window. “Captain!” I yell. _There wouldn’t be enough time to run up. What should I do?_ I climb out my window just as he’s falling “Levi!” I reach up as though to catch him, _damn._ As if for a second my head blacks out, but when I look down, there’s Levi, in my hand? He’s so small. He looks scared. I look around and all the scouts have surrounded me. _They’re small too._ _What’s going on?_

Hold on, I’m the only one that’s big. I scan my body,  _ what the heck? I’m huge!  _ My breathing becomes shaky,  _ that human, the human, I want, eat! It’s food!  _ My mind becomes clouded and my body begins to move on its own, lifting my hand up to my mouth with Levi in it. 

“Oi! Calm down, Eren!” He screams hitting his fists against my fingers that enveloped him. As he’s inches from my face, I stop and examine him, my tongue reaches out 

“Don’t you dare.” He growls, trying to back away. But I had already begun licking him up and down.

“The titan’s going to eat the Captain!” Screams a scout, drawing her blades, the rest follow her actions.  _ Titan, what Titan? What’s the food doing? _ My eyes look from side to side as they begin to surround me. 

“Hold on!” Levi orders “don’t kill it!” He turns his head towards me. “Eren, that’s you right? Calm down, listen to me, hey!” 

_ It’s good, tastes good,  _ I raise him above my head and let him dangle, ready to drop into my opened mouth. 

“What? You wanted me to protect you from the Titans? But now you’re just going to eat me like one? Eh?!” He yells

I halt, Huh?  _ Where’s his voice coming from, Captain?  _ I shut my eyes and shake my head, “Rhaaahhhh!” I moan, probably popping all the scouts ear drums. I open my eyes. 

“Let me help you.” He coaxes. I grunt, lowering my hand and loosening my grip. He sits up in my palm looking at me. As I slowly lower my face towards him, I hear a battle cry like screaming approach my left ear. 

“Let him go!” Screeches a female scout, her blades raised.

“No don't!” Protests Levi, but a split second later, I feel my head drop heavy.

_ Ah it’s quiet.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you all have noticed that my version is very different from the incredible original. But I still hope you enjoy reading more!


	8. Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer in comparison to my others, but bear with me. 😅🙏🏼

_ It’s bright,  _ I squint trying to open my eyes. I look around and feel a heavy clank come from my wrists. “chains again, really?” I heave a sigh and find that I am back in the gloomy wet cell under ground, surrounded by bright torches. 

“You’re awake. Good.” I reluctantly turn my head to face Levi at the entrance of the cell door, ashamed of myself. “Back to how we were in chapter 2 eh?” I say

“Looks like it.” He answers. **(That didn’t actually happen, heh😂 ~Haru_213)**

“Did all of that really just happen?” I ask, lowering my head. 

“Yep.” He says, crossing his leg over the other. 

“I apologize, I- I swear I had no clue, I don’t even clearly remember all the details.” I shiver

“Well the damage has been done, but you saved my life. So I have to thank you, right?” He shrugs, casually walking over. He pushes a heavy hand on my head, messing up the thin brown hair on the top. 

“R-right.” I say sulkingly. 

He crouches down and looks me in the eye, keeping his hand on the top of my head. “We’ll figure this out, I said I’d protect you right?” He pauses “I just didn’t know it would be from yourself.” He stares at me, pondering his next words. “What is it Eren?” He questions. 

My body shakes, “I had no control of myself, my mind wasn’t working. It was like I was trapped in a horror scene, forced to watch.” I bite my lip. “ I was so scared.” I barely whisper. 

He sits on the side of the creaky bed, making it bounce just slightly. The sheets crinkling underneath his weight. “I…” he trails off, wrapping his hand around the back of my head and pulling my forehead to his shoulder.  _ There it is again,  _ I sigh,  _ that comforting feeling. He smells good.  _ I let my head hang heavy on his shoulder, and my body stops shaking. We sat like this for nearly 10 minutes, but I wanted it to last longer. He runs his fingers threw the back of my hair, bending his head down towards my neck. I’m shocked when I feel him bite the side of it, softly trailing his warm tongue up slowly. “C-captain?” I blush, keeping my head down. I hear a slight chuckle 

“It’s pay back, why should only you have gotten a taste?” He whispers, running his hand up the back of my spine. “Did I taste good?” He says, pushing me down, while grinding against me. 

“Levi, s-stop.” I struggle, my hands restrained by the chains. He slowly unbuttons my shirt, creating a line of kisses all the way down. He licks the outside of my pants along the shape of my d*ck. I tremble from the sensation. “It got bigger?” He states. 

“No it didn’t!” I say embarrassed. 

“No, your marks.” He says sitting up, tracing his hands over the dimly glowing marks on my body. 

“Oh those, they’ve been spreading a lot lately. I don’t know why though.” I say nonchalantly, shrugging it off.

Unsatisfied with the answer, Levi leans forward getting up in my face. “And you're ok with that? You don’t even know what they do, they could be the reason you tried to eat me! Face it! You are a monster! Stop being naïve, insolent brat!” He scorns, marching out of the room. 

I sit there dumbfounded by the fact that Levi lost his cool. “Augh, I can’t even button my shirrrt!” I wail, trying to get my hands out of the chains. _So it’s all_ _been an act, he thinks I’m a monster too._ “Tch.” I click my tongue irritably. “Ah, f*ck off!”

“No!” I flinch hearing Levi’s footsteps approach.  _ Crap!  _

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” He says, dragging Hange in. “Look at his chest, Hange, they’re spreading to his lower abdominals.” He says, pointing at me, as I lay there pathetically, my close all in a mess. 

“Did you two fight?” She asks, bending down, adjusting her glasses.

“Hah?” We both say, startling her. 

“Woah, okay. Eren, I’m upset I didn’t get to see you magnificently transform into a majestic Titan, I wanted to see it so badly.” She pouts, swaying from side to side.

I eye her in astonishment, “Those monsters, majestic? I could have killed Levi, or everybody else? What would have happened if… if.” My voice trails up, and I scrunch my face. “wait what happened, how did I turn back?” I ask, puzzled by my lack of memory. 

“I tried to kill you.” Says a female voice, entering my cell. 

“Ah Mikasa, come look at Eren’s chest!” Says Hange excitedly. 

She walks over, staring at me. 

“Augh come on, what am I a circus animal?” I say embarrassed and frustrated. But all I get in return are confused faces.  _ Right, they don’t know what those are.  _

“Just stop complaining.” Levi spats

Ignoring him I look at Mikasa, “What were you saying?”

She grabs on to her scarlet red scarf, “I tried to kill you, but when I slit the back of your Titan neck, you fell out of it, somehow. It’s as though the Titan was just a vessel that you were in. You didn’t move after I did that, so we can assume that you are able to control your Titan form.” She squirms awkwardly. 

“Go on.” I urge her, I could tell she had more to say.

“Well now, the government thinks you’re even more of a threat, they are placing you under Captain Levi just for precaution.” She says firmly.

“Meaning?” I glare at him. 

“Meaning...” Hange cuts in, “You can’t do anything unless Levi allows you to.” She says, sitting back. 

The look of fury starts to creep over my face, “He of all people?!” I scoff

“Did you two have a quarrel?” Mikasa asks

“No!” Levi and I say in unison again. Both Mikasa and Hange look at each other. 

“Honestly Eren, I think you’re rather lucky.” Hange says sincerely. “Levi is a capable captain and he’ll probably be your best option.” She goes to get up, “Oh!” Springing up excitedly, “Levi has given me permission to experiment with you! So tomorrow we’ll get started!” She smiles. “Be prepared.” She grins walking away. 

“Hange.” Levi says sternly, “It doesn’t happen anymore.”

She tweaks an eyebrow up “What doesn’t?”

Levi abruptly leans down towards me, making me flinch. He slides his hand up my chest. “What’s happening?” I ask leaning away. 

“Nothing.” He says “They won’t glow, or heat up.”

“Ehhh?” Hange moves, pushing Levi out of the way to examine me, “You’re right! I wonder.” She says with a look of confusion. 

  
I groan,  _ this sucks _


	9. Used

I woke up exhausted, “augh, my body’s soar.” I look up at the ceiling, rising abruptly. “Where am I?” I was not in the cell any more, and only one hand was cuffed to the side of a large bed, with cream colored sheets.  _ It’s soft.  _ I wiggle my way to the edge of the bed, “Wheres my clothes?!” I embarrassedly try and sling the sheets over me with one arm, but end up tumbling over the side of the bed into a twisted mess. “Ack!” 

“What is wrong with you? You’re lively at 2 in the morning.” I hear a voice from behind me. I avert my gaze from Levi, covering myself with the bed sheets. He walks over and scoops me up, throwing me back onto the bed. _ Why is he so strong for a midget of a man _ ? He crawls over me and stretches his arm across my waist, lying down. “Just be good and sleep, I’m exhausted.” 

“How can I sleep with you all over me?” This man, so annoying! I try to struggle free. “Hey! I need to use your bathroom.” I grumble at him. 

“It’s late Eren.” He says groggily, holding me tighter.

“You want me to pee on you? I will! Just unlock my hand so I can go.” I say, jiggling my wrist, creating a clanking sound. “Levi!”

“Fine.” He says reaching for his pocket to get the key, “But the blanket stays with me.” He smirks, unlocking my hand, clutching the sheets.

I barely knew what to say. “What is wrong with you? I’m not going to go out naked, where are my clothes? dumbass.” I say sitting up. 

“Dumb ass?” He repeats, clutching the sheets tighter. “Not my problem, I’m cold.” He tugs the blanket. 

“Tch, I’m not kidding.” I say yanking the blanket. “If you don’t let go, I will piss on you.” I threaten

“Now who’s the dumb ass?” He sits up, pushing me back down, raising my arms above my head. He holds my wrists down, “You better not wet my bed, or I’ll make you clean it up with your mouth, brat.” 

“Then let go!” I kick my legs. Levi grins, slowly sliding his knee in between my legs up towards my crotch. “Oi! Stop that!” My face becomes red.

“You’re blushing, Eren, even your ears are red.” He smiles “You like it, don’t you?” He teases

“No, s-stop it.” I turn my head away.

He leans down, biting my ear. “Don’t lie.” I feel his tongue lick the side of my ear, tracing up slowly. “Then let’s see if nothing happens, because your lower half seems to enjoy this.” He grabs my d*ck, rapidly rotating around the tip with a squeezed fist. I clench my eyes shut, gritting my teeth. “What, you don’t want to let me hear you moans? Eh, cocky brat.” He bites the skin on my chest, repeatedly until he leaves marks. 

“Stop it, people will see!” I protest, looking at him.

“Then let me hear you cry from pleasure. Then maybe I’ll let you use the bathroom.” He says, his face contorting into an evil smile. 

“W-why, ah, n-no!” My moans begin to rise, my body vibrating from the ecstasy. “Don’t, Levi! Ah!” My back arches, making my hips thrust forward, “it’s, gonna come!” Tears well up in my eyes, “mmhf.” 

“You’re gonna come? Without my permission?” He squeezes his hand around my d*ck, leaning forward enclosing his mouth onto mine. In shock, I feel his tongue press against the entrance of my mouth, trying to make me open. “W-wait.” Cut off by the access of his tongue, mine intertwining with his, swirling together.  _ He keeps hitting the roof of my mouth, It’s hot, why does it feel so good?  _ I close my eyes, a tear falling down my face. 

“Let me hear your voice when I’m pleasuring you.” He whispers, licking his lips, one last squeeze and I start to come. 

“Wait, Levi! It’s gonna!” I start to pee uncomfortably. “N-no!” I cover my face,  _ this is the worst.  _

“You liked it that much” he says “what did I say would happen if you wet my bed?” He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. I slap it away, hurt and angry by his actions. I crawl out of the bed, snatching the sheet and storm off. “You’re the worst.” I say heading to the door. 

“Eren, you can’t go far.” He calls after me. 

“Right, wouldn’t want to get the captain in trouble for losing his monster.” I retort, slamming the heavy brown door behind me. 

What I hated about what just happened the most, was the fact that I  **didn’t** hate it.  _ God, what’s wrong with me!?  _


	10. Believe

I ended up spending the remainder of the night outside. There was a small pathway that led to a garden. Among the beautiful spots of color there was a small fountain that gave off ripples of water, echoing throughout the entire space. 

“Good morning!” Said a chipper voice, it came from Hange Zoe of course. Thankfully I managed to grab a white shirt and a pair of long brown pants from the corridor of Levi’s room before I had left. “Where is Captain Levi?” She asks looking past me. 

I shrug, clenching my fists. I cross my legs and arch my back, looking up at the blue sky. “How is it that among all the confusion in my head, there still manages to be so much beauty?” I rub my forehead irritably. 

She thinks for a moment, sitting down in the luscious green grass beside me. “That’s just how the world works I would suppose. It puts you through hell but gives you just enough to keep pushing on.” With a look of determination, she turns towards me, grasping my hands in hers, “Eren, please work with us, with your help, I think we can find a way to save humanity. I know it sounds selfish since you have nothing to do with this, but I believe in you.” 

I stare at her and laugh to myself, “the thing is.” I pause “It would seem that I have become a part of this already. I’ll help in any way I can.” I say, smiling to her reassuringly. 

“Yahoooo!” She jumps up. “We start right now!” She grabs me by the hand and drags me.  _ Now??  _ After letting her drag me back to the room I stayed in, apparently Levi failed to tell me that the room was mine and his was the one next door, and of course he was nowhere to be found. 

When we got to the armory we walked into a group of people. I brushed shoulders with one of them, he seemed unfazed. My marks seemed to heat up on my chest, glowing softly through my shirt.  _ What, why now?  _ But as I scan them, a look of dread crosses over my face. They were tattered and bruised, blood stains on each and every soldier, some missing limbs, everyone of them bandaged, some looking as though they had lost their souls. From first glance, it looked as if they had no emotions, but looking into their eyes, you could tell they were feeling an overwhelming amount, even they were confused of which one to feel first. “Hange-san?” I pull her sleeve. “What happened to them?” I ask, my lip quivering slightly. 

She pulls me to the side, out of earshot from them,  _ the marks stopped glowing, but that’s not what's important. _

__ “They are one of many patrol squads assigned to investigate past the wall, they were fighting titans. A good majority of them aren’t here.” She says grimly. 

“Where are-“ I cut myself off, lowering my head. 

“They signed up for the scouts, so many of them expected to die.” She sighs.

“...hy?” I barely manage to say

“Hm?” She looks at me.

“Why?!” I say a little too loudly. “They knew they would die, they knew they didn’t have the power, so why?” I tremble with rage. “If there’s no winning, why kill off hundreds of soldiers, they were worthless, it’s-“ 

“Eren.” She places a firm hand to my shoulder, furrowing her brows. “Those soldiers, all had something in common. They had something to fight for, that’s the thing that kept them pushing on through their hell. Different or similar to each other, they had something to protect. They did it for the sake of their family, pride, humanity. None of it was worthless to them.” She gestures for me to follow her again, this time into a large room, filled with gas tanks and supplies. “These are the soldiers we’ll be working with.” She says proudly.

_ Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha… Levi.  _ I blush a little, mad at myself.  _ These are the people who fear me, and yes, are willing to die.  _ I turned to Hange, “You already had them getting ready before I even said I’d help, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” She says with a smile, “because just as I said, I believe in you, they all do.” 

I look to them, in my mind 100% skeptical of their beliefs. No matter, I will follow them. “What is it we will be doing exactly?” I ask, placing a hand on my hip, leaning on a column beside me. 

“Obviously, we are going to try and turn you back into a titan, and then be able to control that power!” She says excitedly. But it wasn’t obvious to me and other scouts, because none of us looked like we knew that was about to happen.

“Are you serious? I don’t feel like making these guys look like the guys out there Hange-san!” I didn’t know what to think right then.

“Eren.” Levi comes up behind me. “It’s ok, we’ve figured out how to prevent that, if there’s any sign of things not going as planned, I just have to cut around where your human form would be.”

“Would you have the time to be that precise? One or more of you could die before that happens.” I look at faces that seem to sadly agree with me. 

“Eren, we're all here to help you, and probably without any of us wanting to admit, to help ourselves.” Says the blond haired Armin. He smiles innocently. “You don’t need to worry about us fearing you, because it seems that you’re the one that fears you right now.”  _ He was right, I do fear what I can become, I don’t know how not to.  _

“Believe in us Eren.” Mikasa says, looking at me, the sincerity in her words making the tight feeling in my chest squeeze even more. 

With all of them looking at me, I straighten up, giving a nod, “alright.” 

Though I said this… I had no clue how to turn into a titan again. We had ridden out to a large field, far from any village, the only things tall enough to use 3D maneuver gear with were the trees that scattered around us. 

“Jaeger, when you went to catch Levi, what was it you were thinking of, feeling, doing, anything.” Says the impatient Jean. “We just need a clue.” I could tell he was trying to help, but I honestly didn’t know how to answer.

“I don’t really remember.” I scratch my head. “Wait, the marks on my body got really hot right before I stopped remembering things, so right before I transformed.” I scratch my head more. “But I don’t know if that has anything to do with it.”

“It sure as hell does.” Says Levi, striding over towards me. He reaches for my shirt, and I smack him. 

“S-sorry.” I back away. He sighs and motions for Hange. 

“We need to figure out what’s happening with those scars on his chest. They have to be a link.” He looks at me. “Take off your shirt.” 

“Yes, s-sir.” I start at the bottom, crossing both arms over each other, raising the cotton fabric up over my head. Swiftly, Levi presses his hand on my chest, catching me off guard, making me flinch. “What?” I question dropping my shirt to the ground.

“We have to figure out why they’re spreading, they don’t glow when I touch them anymore.” He retracts his hand.

“Maybe you have nothing to do with it, they glowed when I accidentally touched a returning scout today too.” I rubbed one mark that had spread to my shoulder. 

“No, I doubt it’s random.” Cuts in Armin. “May I?” He asks, raising a hand to my skin.

I nod in consent. He traces the shape of the scars, stopping moments later. “What if we thought about this in a different way.” He says stepping back a little. “Eren’s marks glowed when he first appeared in the courtroom, when Levi touched him, and with the scout earlier.” He turns to Levi. “What did you do right before you had touched Eren the first time?” He asks the Captain.

He thinks for a moment, looking at me. “I had just returned from a recon mission.”

“Just like the other soldier before.” Armin responds. 

“When Eren appeared the first time, we had all returned from a recon mission too!” Pipes in Sasha.

“What does any of that have to do with his body issues.” Says Jean confused. 

“We had all recently been in contact with other titans, maybe Eren’s marks are caused by exposure to titans.” Armin says slowly. “But it still doesn’t explain how Eren transformed, because none of us had been around titans then.” 

“I wanted to.” I say quietly.

“Hah?” Jeans remarks at me.

I look up, “I wanted to save Levi, but I knew me as a human couldn’t, I never thought I would turn into a titan though.” I look at my hands. “What happens when the marks spread over my entire body? It hurts enough already.” I breathe heavily.

“I’m not sure, but maybe you just need a definitive purpose to transform.” Armin reaches for my face. “Eren, you can do this!” He raised his voice along with my head. 

“Alright let’s try it!” Says Hange excitedly “everyone back away, Eren you stay there and think about something.” As everyone speeds away from me, I stand there feeling dumb.  _ Of all times, now I can’t think of anything to do? _

_ “ _ Eren, what's wrong?” I hear Mikasa’s voice from overhead. She had placed herself in a tree about 30 feet away. Without me responding, I see her swing towards me, landing about 2 feet in front of me. “Here.” She hands me a flower. 

“Thanks?” I look at her questioningly. She sighs and looks at me smiling, closing my hand with the flower inside, “You should put it back in that tree where it belongs.” She runs off.  _ Thanks Mikasa.  _

  
_ I have to focus,  _ I breathe out slowly holding the stem of the small flower tightly. With a flash of light I open my eyes. I look down,  _ huh the little flower got even smaller.  _ My eyes roll back into my head, and I readjust them again.  _ What’s this smell?  _ I smile. _ Hmm Food _


	11. Who’s Controlling Who?

_ What was I doing again, flow- no food, food, where’d it go?  _ My limbs lurching violently on their own, my instincts taking over. I see a small movement out of the corner of my eye, at a high speed I turn and reach to grab it, it barely escaping my grasp. “Ghrahhh!!” My eyes search in every direction. I see another movement in a nearby tree and I send the tree flying through the air.  _ Why can’t I get it together! Stop it! Stop it! _

“Eren!” I hear a voice from behind me, It’s Armin! Unconsciously I whirl around to try and grab him, missing again. “Hey! Eren! Remember what you were here to do!” He says dodging another one of my enormous hands.  _ Why can’t I stop myself!?! I need to stop.  _ I grab my face, sending a punch to my jaw. 

“What is he doing?!” Yells Jean to the rest of the scouts. “Is he going insane, should we stop him?” 

“No wait a little longer!” Yells Armin “I think he’s trying to hold himself back from causing us harm. 

“Armin’s right! Just be careful! Don’t get too close!” Levi commands, circling around me. 

I try covering my eyes, biting my hand, kneeling to the ground, but each time my eyes re adjust looking for their victim.  _ F*ck, I can’t do this much longer.  _ I feel a small weight on my shoulder. My head snaps in its direction, seeing Armin standing there.  _ What is he doing? I want to taste it!  _

“Armin, you’re getting too comfortable, you have to be more cautious!” Yells Hange, motioning for him to fall back. 

“No, hold on!” He turns to look at my eyes, jumping to my nose. “Eren, I know you can hear me! It’s ok! You can do this, remember?” He lays a hand on my forehead. “Think only about my voice, I’ll tell you exactly what you need to do!” He coaxes, resting his own forehead between my eyes. “If you understand, close your eyes, don’t think about anything else.”

I slowly close my eyes, letting my arms dangle by my sides.  _ I can do this, don’t think don’t think.  _

“There you go.” He says in a gentle voice, “Now, we are going to return this flower to the top of the tree. So slowly, take one step forward, but don’t open your eyes, I’ll guide you.” 

I grunt in response, lifting my right foot, and putting my weight forward on it. 

“Now the other foot.” 

I obey, listening to his voice. 

“One more step and then you can reach the tree.” He says reassuringly. 

I lift my arm, blindly looking for the tree, once I feel it, I let the flower go. 

“Yes, you did it, now just stay still and don’t move.” He sits up, looking to the scouts, a big smile spreading across his face. 

“Yahooo!” Sasha yells, swinging towards us. 

“Sasha don’t!” Yells, Mikasa already moving to stop her. But my eyes snap open, seeing Armin right in front of me. With one swift action I grab him, holding him to my face, a deep growl resonating from inside my throat, my eyebrows contorting angrily. “No no, Eren, listen!” He tries to say calmly, but his voice cracks nervously. 

_ Yes I hear you! But I can’t stop!  _

“Armin!” Levi shouts, heading our way. 

_ Yes, Levi, stop me, before I kill him.  _ I open my mouth, letting Armin slide in.  _ Please! Levi help me!  _

“hElp!” my Titan form clumsily cries the words out, somehow understandable, stunning Levi and the rest of the scouts _.  _ I receive a hit to the side of my head, knocking me sideways, and Armin out of my mouth. “Armin, get away!” Levi commands, pulling him together. “I’ll handle Eren.”

_ Why? Why did you risk it?  _ I large growl echos out of me, leaping forwards to try and catch Levi in my mouth. 

“Damn you!” He yells, “Do you want to be weak and out of control of your life forever?!” He says swinging behind me. 

_ Tch, what are you doing?  _ I turn, receiving another blow from Levi’s foot to my forehead this time. I stumble back, trampling a group of bushes. When I regain footing, I look around, trying to locate the captain. Suddenly a choking feeling creeps up my throat, making my scratch furiously to futility try and make it stop. Levi had wrapped his maneuver gear around my neck. 

“Eren.” he says, standing on the back of my neck. “I can cut you out if you don’t take control of yourself.” He says calmly. 

_ Yes! I want to be set free!  _ My body indiscriminately jerks, trying to get Levi off.  _ I can’t stop, just cut me out already, bastard.  _

Levi lifts his blade, ready to strike. “I guess that’s how a coward would get out of this situation, right?” He grins, leaning towards my ear. “Do you really want me to be in control of everything, just like last night?” He whispers, tugging a strand of my hair. “It was fun for me, but I’ll have to personally punish you for all these mistakes. Disobeying a commanding officer, attempting to devour your comrades… wetting the bed.” 

_ This f*cker. I’ve had enough of your blabbering, you can stop mocking me.  _ I straighten up, facing forward. I slowly start to walk, Levi simply hanging on. 

“Oi, Eren. What are you doing?” He says, holding tighter to my hair. 

_ Isn’t this fun! I’m in control now huh Levi? How’d you like that?  _ I would smile, if my jaw allowed me to. But I was probably grateful that I didn’t smile a sick like grin, like other Titans. I liked seeing Levi in a confused state. I began to scuff my large feet into the dirt, seemingly at random. 

“Would you stop and listen. Are you in there?” Levi protests, knocking his blade against my head. 

After a while I stop and stand still, waiting for Levi to react to this. 

Levi unravels the chord from my throat, jumping to my shoulder. “What the hell were you doing, idiot?” He nags, “I know you aren’t in control of this stupid body, but at least have a reason for just prancing around aimlessly.” He was about to continue, when the rest of the scouts climbed up my body. “Hey what are you guys doing, it’s dangerous.” He says, looking at them. They each start to chuckle, not letting Levi in on their joke. “Someone better speak up.” He grits his teeth. But instead of an answer, I slowly grab him with my giant hands from behind and hold him out in front of me. “Ugh, what now? Don’t let your guard down!” He squirms. I try and give him the most blank expression I could, just staring at him. “What??!” He yells. Finally I lift him above my head and point with my other hand to the ground in front of us where I had been “aimlessly” scuffing my feet, as Levi had said. When he finally sees it, he punches me with his tiny fist. In big letters, written out in the dirt was a message I had tried to convey. “LEVI, I AM IN CONTROL.”  _ Now who feels like the idiot, haha. _ I think to myself lowering Levi, and opening my hand. 

“You would be laughing if you could, wouldn’t you?” He asks, placing two hands on his hips. 

I nod my enormous head up and down twice.  _ Wait, how did I take control though? When?  _

“Heh, that was a good plan, Armin.” Levi says, patting Armin on the back.

Confused, I look down at them.  _ What plan?  _

“So Eren, though you may not have realized, but Armin came up with a secret plan B, in case something went wrong. It’s simple, get you angry, angry enough to want to do something worthwhile” He smirks “I happily volunteered to be the one to get you angry.” He grins, walking towards his horse. “That’s all for today, Hange, make sure he turns back into a human, then return him to his room.” He rides off, not letting anyone have a second word. 

_ That jerk, he was fooling with me the entire time!  _

“Eren.” I feel a tiny hand touch my cheek, it was Mikasa. “Can you turn back on your own?” She asks. Most of the scouts had finished packing up and were just waiting for me to detransform.  _ Ugh, how’s this supposed to work. Maybe if I-  _ A bright light flashes from my body and I lay on the ground, returned to my human form. 

“It’s as if the titan was never there.” Connie remarks, blowing a long whistle sound with his mouth. 

“I feel so weak.” I say right before passing out.  _ How come that’s how this always happens?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the Anime, Eren’s titan form couldn’t speak (which I found odd, because Ymir’s titan form could) But I decided, that if he desperately needed to, he could speak a little in my Fanfic. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> -Haru


	12. Beautiful

I had opened my eyes to see a brown wooden ceiling, and the soft silk sheets underneath me.  _ Deja vu?  _ I was back in my room. I sit up, I at least had pants on, but my shirt was draped over a chair to my left. I carefully rubbed my scars, the heat from them low but hot enough to feel. I let out a sigh, they had spread again, they had wrapped around my fingers. 

“You’re finally awake huh?” Levi says walking in, placing a cup of water on the small table beside me. I rub my throbbing head. He reaches and holds my face in his hands. “Are you in pain? Should I call for someone?”

Absolutely dumbfounded, I sit there and stare at his concerned gray eyes. “Um no, are  **you** ok?” I say, brushing his hands away. I roll over, pulling the sheets over me. “What’s with you?” I grumble under my breath. 

Levi’s eyelids lower a little, he sits on the edge of the bed. He reaches for me gradually, then forcefully holds me under the covers. “What do you mean, ‘with Me?’” He asks, holding tighter, the temper of his voice rising. 

“Ugh, I can’t breath! Get off me!” I struggle underneath the covers. 

“I thought I had lost you.” He whispers, his warm breath inches away from my ear that was covered by the thin blanket. 

“Levi?” I stop struggling, the only sound being of our panting and thumping chests. I take the covers off my head and roll over him, making him lay back on the bed this time. “Why?”

He clenches his teeth and fists, turning his slightly blushing face away from me. “It’s exactly as I said, moron.” He shuts his eyes, “If you can’t do something, don’t force yourself.” 

I sigh resting my head on his shoulder, my body going limp. “But I wanted to try, nothing’s going to change if I didn’t.” 

“Four damn days worth of waiting.” His voice shakes “you were asleep for four days.” I could hear his heart beating underneath me.  _ Was he scared? Worried? For me? _ I chuckle lightly.

“What? That’s funny?” He asks taking my cheeks into his hands. 

“No.” I smile, tilting my head slightly, “I just enjoy humanity's strongest going a little soft on me for a change.” I stare into his piercing gray eyes. Why is it that with just one look, he can captivate my every thought? 

He pulls me slowly into a kiss. This is different, it’s softer, more gentle then before as his tongue plays with mine. After all he did to me, why is this even more embarrassing. I pull back, panting softly. “Lev-“ Wait, he’s, he’s also embarrassed. I look at his light skin, glowing from the light of the moon that was peering through the window. His face was red, all the way up to his ears. And his lips, they were soft, the feel of them that sends my mind into a sensual state of intoxication. That's why I wanted to reach toward his face and touch them lightly before the urge to kiss him takes over. “You’re beautiful.” I whisper. 

He bites his lower lip and covers my mouth with his small hand. “Stupid, don’t.” His eyes widened, “Eren! Stop, You- your.” 

I lick his fingers, my tongue slipping in between them repeatedly. The scars on my body glow lightly, spreading towards my eyes. “Why should I? It’s true. But tell me, Captain, for how long did you intend to keep my mouth captive?” I wrap my hand around his and kiss it. I start to lean toward his face.  _ Why are my eyelids so heavy? My strength is leaving.  _

He licks the entrance of my mouth, bitting my bottom lip. “I thought you knew your limit, rest Eren.” He places a hand on my shoulder to push me away.

“But, I don’t-“ I begin to protest, but Levi pulls me down beside him, holding me gently, my head against his chest. 

  
“I’m not leaving, so rest easy.” He says quietly. My heart feels as if it’s climbing out of my chest. But it’s ok, my mind starts to go blank.  _ This man, why must he stir my emotions so much. It’s warm _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize that I did not update for a while, and I also apologize for such a short chapter. It took me a while to think through how I wanted to play this out. I’ll be back soon, thank you for your patience🙏🏼


	13. A Certain Feeling of Uncertainty

Hange-San decided that we wouldn’t be going Titan mode any time soon. Instead we would train my body to become stronger and Sasha suggested I meditate. I honestly don’t know how this is going to help them fight the titans, but I’ll follow their lead. I don’t see Captain Levi very zeoften either. 

It’s been about three weeks since the Incident, and I didn’t expect to see so much improvement. What weight I’ve lost, I’ve gained back in muscle mass. “I think I grew a little too.” I said to myself, setting down the 40 pound weight. 

“You’re already tall as it is, 189 cm right?” Says Armin, walking into the training room. 

“Yep but I just passed 190 cm so I did grow some.” I smile wrapping a towel around my neck. 

“Hah you're a whole foot taller than Captain Levi.” Laughs Armin, with a bright smile. 

I smirk “a lot of people are-” I cut my self off hearing footstep approach from the corridor. 

“A lot of people are what? Hah?” Levi’s voice comes from behind me. 

“Sir, I-” I stutter trying to find an excuse. “Nothing sir.” 

He elbows me in the side making my body crumble forward. “And can a lot of people kick as many asses as me as well?” He sneers, grabbing my head. 

“Absolutely not, sir.” I look into his fierce eyes, but he retracts blushing a little. 

“Well then we can- Eren whats wrong?” He asks. 

I feel chills down my neck and my scars start to glow all over my body. “It’s, it’s happening.”

“What? What’s happening?” Cries Armin, touching my arm. 

“Don’t touch me!” I scream, shuffling backwards. “They’re coming!” My eyes start to glow, tearing up. My mouth starts to move on its own, murmuring incomprehensible words that I had no clue where they came from. “Wall isn’t breaking, giant hands are appearing!” I fall onto the cold stones, shaking my head. 

“Eren calm down, focus. Who’s look coming? The wall’s ok? So there’s nothing to worry about.” Levi holds my shoulders firmly. 

My face contorts into the most sickening frown, “no.” My mind races through images that shouldn’t be inside my head, making me cry tears for humans I didn’t know. “It’s too late.” The walls shake, small pebbles falling from the ceiling. We were underground inside the survey corps base inside wall Rose. 

“Captain!” A survey member shouts coming inside the room, “Titans have been spotted coming towards the base. Wall rose has fallen!” Every face drained any color left and for a split second no sound came from anyone. But quickly Levi punches my shoulder. “Get up!” We need you, this is what you’ve been training for.” 

Knocked back to my senses I look at him heading towards the exit. “Levi! I’ve never fought a titan, I’m not even sure I can fight in my titan form. I’ll just be in the way!” I follow him. 

He glares at me, “Are you telling me I can’t rely on you? Humanity can’t rely on you? Have you just been wasting our time for the last four months?” He stops. “Or are you just a coward?” He swiftly walks up the stairs leaving me behind. 

_ No, I can’t let these people down. H*ll yea I’m scared, who in their right mind wouldn’t be? But I can’t fail these people. If everyone else doubts me, the only person left to believe in myself is me.  _ I had made up my mind, I’ll either kill all the d*mn Titans, or I’ll die trying. I dash up the stairs, opening the doors to the main hall. Seeing that everyone was thrown into panic, fumbling to attach their 3D gear. I find Levi’s eyes and almost as if connected to each other’s thoughts, he simply gives me a nod of consent. 

“There’s no more time!” Shouts a commander “if you don’t have your gear, leave it, we need those soldiers to move towards evacuating the villages. Mount up!” He orders, making every soldier lurch forward. Seeing the faces of those without gear sent chills down my back. “So they're just going to send us to our deaths.” “We have no chance without our gear.” “What will happen to all the civilians once they kill us off.” I heard their voices murmur throughout the crowd. I grit my teeth, marching forward. They were probably right. I found myself feeling guilty for having my gear on. 

The plan was to send soldiers on horseback around the incoming Titans to see if villages survived while also locating the hole in the wall. Then a different group will move away from the Titans to evacuate remaining villages. The remaining survey corps members with 3D gear attached are to stop the Titans here at the base. 

“Don’t freeze up now” Hange gives me a smile, trying to look reassuring. 

“I won’t let you down.” I say, straightening my back. 

“Even so, I would hold back some, this is your first time and we won’t use you unless absolutely necessary.” She trudged up ahead to Levi, who was watching the two groups leave on horseback, one heading up ahead north while the other behind to the south. “They’ll be fine, there can’t be more than one hole in the wall.” She tells him. My stomach turns as I see the group of titans approach. A set of images flash in my head. “Levi!” I start, reaching forward. 

“What? Chickening already?” He turns

“No, there’s no damage to the wall. The Titans, they came from inside the wall.” I don’t know why I knew that, but deep down, I was certain. 

“What crap are you Spewing now?” He grabs my coller. “This is no time for wise cracks.” He snarls. 

“No believe me, I- they haven’t breached wall Rose.” But I get a smack across my face. 

“What proof do you have? Huh?” He swings me aside. 

“I can feel it-”

“No more bull sh*t should come from your mouth. I’m not going to act on a  _ feeling.”  _ He let’s go, pushing me away “Prepare yourself, there’s no way for the Titans to get in without damaging the wall.” He takes out his blades and faces forward. 

I look down, ashamed. But deep in the pit of my stomach I just knew I was right. “I’ll just have to trust you.” I murmur to myself, letting out my blades. 

We had climbed to the top of the survey corps towers and waited for the Titans to come to us. As far as we could tell there were about 30 titans but only 9 survey corps members with gear. 

“So approximately we’ll only have to take out 3 each?” I say to no one in particular. 

“Right, but it’ll probably turn out that Mikasa and Levi will kill most of them before we can even kill one.” Remarks Reiner walking up to my side. I hadn’t talked to him very much, but something about him and the other guy from his town, Bertold, made me uneasy. 

“Ah, I see.” I laugh half heartedly. 

“It’s almost dusk, we could just wait till they fall asleep.” A soldier chimes into the group. 

“We could try that, but if they see us, they could destroy the base trying to get us. Or the other thing that could happen would be for them to go past us and go after the bigger group of people.”

Armin says, his face contouring into a thoughtful frown. “Ah s-sorry, that wasn’t for me to answer.” He says looking up at Levi. 

“No, you’re right. We can’t have that. We have to stop them here.” Levi gestures for Hange. 

As I looked around I kept thinking about the memories I saw in my head. The thought of Titans appearing from within the wall kept nagging at my brain. My body moved in it’s own to pull Mikasa away from the edge of the tower, a split second later, a titans teeth had locked on to the tower's edge. How did I know it was coming? More importantly, the titan came out of nowhere, but behind it came a larger group of titans. “There’s more?!” Titans from all sides had surrounded us, only 20 feet below. 

_ Sh*t this is bad. Now we have to worry about the mass number of titans, but where did the others come from?  _


End file.
